Basically, before we really get into the Body, Soul and Spirit connection on Women of Influence and what a Woman of Influence is, I really need you to understand what she isn’t.  And what she isn’t is "head cook and bottle washer!"  I’m not sure if this is a US term, but in the UK it means you wear many hats and you do everything – and it usually refers to the more domesticated tasks around the home. 

But be sure to read the entire article if you want to get the essesnce of why the Proverbs 31 Woman was more than a good housekeeper and, discover what could be holding you back from being all God wants you to be. 

Enjoy and be blessed,

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Becoming A Christian Woman Of Influence

Many Christian women struggle with the concept of the Proverbs 31 Women, either because she is too perfect, or to them it smacks of being submissive to a man!  

However, the Proverbs 31 woman is what I regard to be the ultimate woman of influence.  Not merely because of her excellence in all areas of her life, but more importantly because of her fear of the Lord, which we know from the book of Proverbs is the beginning of wisdom.

And, notice that her praise emanated from her “reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord” (Prov. 31:30), which is the very foundation on which her whole life of influence was built.  Some people have been misguided into thinking that it was her role of mother, wife and a good housekeeper that gained her the name Virtuous Woman.  There are entire forums dedicated to women trying to imitate the roles of the Proverbs 31 Woman.

But, she was much more than an excellent homemaker, mother and wife.  A closer look at Proverbs reveals that she is a business woman, (verse 16,18 &24) she brings credibility to her husband (verse 23) and “She opens her mouth with wisdom”  (verse 26) – the principle thing in building and establishing a house.   

The key thing is that this Virtuous Woman, as the Bible describes her, walked in the will of God.  She was living on purpose and her focus and energy was in accomplishing what God had called her to do.  And this was the reason she could accomplish so much, with a little help from her maidservants of course (verse 15)!   

By using her natural God given talents she was able to execute whatever she put her hands to with passion and excellence and, with minimal effort.    

This woman wanted for nothing.  Why?  Because she had her priorities in order!  She put God first and she was sensitive to Holy Spirit’s leading.  He gave her the power which enabled her to become an exemplary woman of influence.    

And as a Christian woman, becoming a woman of influence is a “priceless” achievement (Proverbs 31:10 gives the Virtuous Woman a value that is far above rubies), and whether you consider yourself a leader like Deborah, a woman who serves others as did Naaman’s maid, or a woman with a chequered past like Bathsheba, there is a jewel that God has already placed inside of you, and the time has come for you to let that jewel shine!

Living a life of mediocrity, with unfulfilled dreams and bearing the scars and burdens of your past is far from the life that God created you for.  He promised you a life of abundance – in everything, not just money – and it is our duty as Christian women to start making a difference in our world.  

By this, I mean your home, your community, your Church and your place of work because these are the places where you can exercise the greatest amount of influence. 

I love the line John Maxwell once used when promoting one of his Christian women’s conference…

“She is only one, but she can influence her world”

How can you influence your world you might ask?  Start by rekindling those old shattered dreams that the enemy may have stolen from you.  You know, the ones that died after the abuse, rape, divorce, death of a loved and the hurtful words that people you respected spoke into your life.  

Many of you have allowed the guilt and shame of your past to paralyze you without claiming deliverance, which is unnecessary given that Jesus died so He could release you from the very guilt and shame of your past that you are now building your life upon.  

I know that life, I’ve been there!  But I became a Christian woman of influence two years ago, even though my salvation dates back much earlier than this to when I was 13.

What changed two years ago?  Up until then I let the enemy have control.  Without realising it, I was building my life’s foundation on the secret I had kept for 20 years about my teenage abuse.  

But by obeying the voice of God, two years ago I snatched back the life the enemy had stolen from me and God turned the bitter experiences of my past into His success story and now He wants to do the same for you.

God desires that your future is filled with all of those things that He has willed for your life and you have the choice to change your story.  To become a powerful Christian woman of influence, impacting the lives of your children and those around you as well as your own destiny.

What was the secret of the Proverbs 31 Woman? 

I believe it was the fact that she was living in the will of God.  Whatever she did, was with the direction of the Holy Spirit which not only enabled her to make the right choices for her and her household, but enabled her to focus on what she was called to do.  

Now, that’s an achievement… not to copy or imitate the Proverbs 31 Woman, but to “fear the LORD” (Proverbs 29), to walk in His will and to live a directed life.    

Now, let’s have a look at what one of my favourite mentors, John Maxwell, has to say about the Virtuous Woman:   

“Proverbs 31 no doubt gets more airtime on Mother’s Day than any other passage of Scripture.  The majority of the proverb describes a virtuous woman who leads her home with integrity, discipline and giftedness.  This wife and mother is a leader not because she tries to be one, but because of who she is.

Her Assets

1. She is trustworthy (v.11)
2. She is a positive influence (v.12)
3. She is a hard worker vv.13, 14, 19, 24-27)
4. She is a planner vv.21, 22)
5. She is protective(v.27)

Her Achievements

1. She meets the needs of her home (v.15)
2. She invests for her household (v.16)
3. She keeps herself in shape (v.17)
4. She helps her husband become successful (v.23)

Her Attitudes

1. Delightful (v.13)
2. Healthy (v.18)
3. Compassionate (v.20)
4. Unselfish (v.20)
5. Public (v.25)

Her Applause

1. From her family (v.28)
2. From her husband (vv.28,29)
3. From God’s Word (v.30)
4. From her works (v.31)”

Proverbs 31: 29 and 30 says “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all…  a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”  

I read this today in the notes of my Amplified Bible, and for me, it summarised what I was trying to say…

“When the summary of what makes her value “far above rubies” is given (Prov. 31:30), it’s her spiritual life only that is mentioned.  One can almost hear the voice of Jesus saying, “Mary has chosen the good portion… which shall not be taken away from her (Luke 10:42).”

So, in the final analysis, what are you trying to hold on to… your role as a homemaker, housekeeper, mother, wife or is it to “fear the LORD” and live a directed life? 

I know which one I’m striving for and I also know that in my pursuit of putting Him first, it’s inevitable that I will become a better homemaker, housekeeper, mother and wife.  

Until next time, God Bless…

Anyway, back to our topic of the Virtuous Woman…  How many of you work for someone else and it’s your job to do everything?  I’ll be very impressed if I get any “yes” answers to this except of course if there is very little to the work you do.   

Well, some weeks ago the Lord had to remind me that He didn’t intend for me to do everything myself.  Whilst tidying up after dinner, I told the Lord that I was finding it difficult to fit everything in and in my mind, household chores was the very last thing I wanted to be doing.  But then I told myself, the Bible says I have to be a keeper of the home and with that what came to my mind was “yes keeper.”  

It was then that I a) remembered an article I wrote on the Proverbs 31 Woman over a year ago which I have never published and b) that no one working for a organisation is expected to ”do” every task.  

I was also reminded how five years ago when both Chris and I were studying for our MBA, I couldn’t think straight because of the chaos in our home and, although I loathe ironing, knowing it was there was a distraction and I’d even rather do that than complete my assignments.  And then a friend suggested I get myself a cleaner which I did and not only did she iron, she cleaned the house from top to bottom each week.

It was bliss and it enabled both Chris and I to focus on completing our degree.   Unfortunately, I fell into the trap after our daughter was born a year later – you know the DIY modernism – “I’ll do it all myself.”  But after my conversation with the Lord in my kitchen, I’ve already outsourced the ironing and I’m now looking for another cleaner and, I feel at ease already!    

So the question is, why do us women think we’re super human and that we can do all of the household chores as well as hold down a full time job or run a business or ministry or both?    

If you’re reading this and you believe the Proverbs 31 Woman was a “glorified” housewife or homemaker that some people portray her as, then this isn’t for you, but if you believe that God created you for a purpose, and somewhere in this passage of scripture God is showing us the evidence, then keep reading.  

The dictionary definition of keeper is “one that has the charge or care of something” which is not the same as the one who “does” everything. 

A goal keeper in football is there to stop the opposing team from scoring a goal.  He’d be crazy to try and score a goal from his goal position but nonetheless, his pass, throw or header in the right direction as well as his skill in goal keeping will make all the difference to the final score.  

In the same way, the Proverbs 31 Woman was an excellent “keeper” of her home and it had a positive impact on the whole household.  But, she wasn’t required to “do” everything otherwise there would be no reference to her “handmaidens.”  You don’t get the picture of a woman with her hands in dough, flour in her face from her hands, hair “rushed” up in a bun whilst she’s shouting at the kids, flustered as she’s changing the baby and then her husband walks in, sees the chaos and asks “what’s for dinner?”   

The picture the Proverbs 31 Woman paints is one of order and peace – everything done according to a plan with the right people in place to execute the plan.  She was the “home” project manager who delegated rather than abdicated her role and for that her husband boasted about her, and her children called her blessed.    

I’m not going to go into a long discussion about the sparation of chores, but I see it as my job to “keep” the home and let me tell you, when I discovered the truth about it’s meaning in the Bible, there were a lot less arguments over who does what, there was a lot less stress in both Chris and myself and there was a lot more loving of my role as keeper in the home.   

“Keeper in the home” in Titus 2:5 referred to by Paul is where most people get their reference to women being housekeepers as we know it.  Paul was however talking about women not being idle gossipers, walking from house to house and neglecting their domestic affairs.  For a more detailed explanation, you can read some of the comments on CrossWalk.com.   

There is however one very important element that I think is missed by most who outline the virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman but since this post is getting a little long, I will continue tomorrow and promise to also outline the Proverbs 31 Woman’s virtues from a man’s perspective.  I’m also going to show you from the Word of God, that she was more than a glorified housekeeper!  

Blessings until tomorrow, 

Interestingly enough though, most of their conversations are around keeping the home while holding down a full time job.  Housekeeping includes - but is not limited to – running errands, keeping the home clean and tidy, raising children and cooking healthy dinners! 

Why the exclamation mark?  The Virtuous Woman represents much more than all of this! 

Now you’re saying, Trish I couldn’t possibly do any more than I’m doing now… But I just want you to hear me out…  

 ”She didn’t do it all by herself!”  

This is one omission that answers to the “can I be like her” questions tend to miss out.  I read and hear women talk about the “joy” of being an excellent housekeeper which, I don’t have a problem with if you can manage it and it makes you happy.  The truth is, most women are not happy and we struggle to fit it all in and then feel a failure when we can’t comply.   

The Proverbs 31 woman ”rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants.” (verse 15 NKJV). 

We need to remove the “filters of society” so we can see what is before our very eyes.  For too long, we’ve let society dictate the meaning of keeper of the home to such a great extent that we’re missing the lessons God wanted us to learn from this particular passage of scripture. 

God would never set us up to fail and if so many women feel a failure because of their inability to be an excellent housekeeper all whilst working full time, or running a business or ministry or both, something must be wrong… with the way WE see and do things.  

I believe there is a lot to learn from this one “priceless” woman so I will continue this thread tomorrow and beyond.  I’ll expand on the meaning of ”keeper of the home” from Proverbs 31 as well as my own personal experience and I also want to outline the virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman – from a man’s perspective.  This perspective has become my personal favourite and I’m grateful to the man who wrote it!   

Blessings until tomorrow,